Danny Phantom Drabbles
by CeasedExistence
Summary: Lots of little drabbles that I will never get around to writing into a story. Mostly funny, review with ideas and I'll write one for you all speciallike. R&R!
1. Little Badger

_A/N: I was watching the show and my little sister came in and was insane enough to ask me why Vlad always calls Danny 'Little Badger'. This is the result. R&R!_

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**Little Badger**

'Say, Danny?' Sam asked one day, as the three friends took their seats towards the back of Casper High's bustling cafeteria.  
'Yeah, Sam?' The halfa replied, struggling to balance his tray with one hand and pull out his chair with the other.  
'Why does Vlad always call you 'Little Badger'?' she questioned, reaching over to grab one of his fries as he managed to sit down with his friends.  
'Gee, Sam,' he quipped. 'I don't know. Tell you what, though- next time we're in the middle of a fight for our after-lives, I'll be sure to ask him, okay'  
'...' There was a moment of silence. Then, 'Fair enough. I won't ask about the little badger thing'  
Danny grinned and took his fry back. 'And I won't ask why you suddenly have a french manicure the day before I take you to the Spring Festival'  
'Deal.'


	2. Wensday the 27th

'All will bow before me, for I am... _WENSDAY THE TWENTY-SEVENTH_!!!' she crowed, holding her arms above her head in a gesture of victory.  
'Hang on,' Danny interrupted. 'Does that mean that there were twenty-six people named Wensday in your family before you, or that you're strongest when the twenty-seventh falls on a Wensday?' The girl paused, looked at him thoughtfully, and replied, 'Both, actually.'  
'Well _that's_ oddly convinient.'  
She rolled her eyes and huffed, '_Tell_ me about it.' Her eyes widened as the sound of a charging Fenton Thermos made itself known behind her. 'Oh, _no._'  
'Oh,' Danny replied smugly, '_yeah_,' just as the young ghoul was sucked into the small container.  
'Bye-bye, Wensday,' he chuckled. 'Next time, don't attack on a Thursday.' 


	3. Australia

A/N: (Wearing a strange hat and creeping through a jungle) Crikey, look o'er there! It's the rarely seen, camera shy Brain Fart, or _brainus farteous_, what an honor, and we're getting it all on tape! Look out for the croc, there, Mike- Mike? Oh, crud.. ARGH!

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**Australia**

'You guys don't know what day it is, do you?' he groaned, dropping his head to the table.  
'Friday the thirteenth, wh- OH.' comprehension dawned upon them. 'All Fools Day for ghosts, right?'  
'Grrnhg.'  
'Stop worrying about the world ending today,' Tucker quipped as he sat down and tore into his Mega Meaty Special. 'It's already tommorrow in Australia.'  
Danny stared at him like he had sprouted wings and a halo. 'Tucker, I think that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say.' He got up and looked around for the nearest dark allyway. 'Dude, where are you going?' Sam asked, picking at her salad.  
'Australia. See you guys tomorrow.'

* * *

A/N: As far as this one goes... I blame the schools. 


	4. Barney?

_A/N: I was babysitting when I got the idea for this one- a three year old obsessed with Treehouse. What show do they often play on Treehouse? Barney- and I despise Barney. On the other hand, at least you, the readers, are profiting from my discomfort._

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**Barney?**

"Huh." Danny said. "A telepathic ghost dinosaur that can speak perfect English. You know, it says a lot about my life that this _isn't _the strangest thing I've ever seen."

"Tell me about it!" Tucker agreed. "I just have one question, though- why is he purple? Aren't most ghosts green or blue?"

"I dunno," Danny shrugged. "Maybe someone finally whacked Barney over the head with that two-by-four?"

"It's about time," Same commented dryly.

"Um, excuse me?" The ghost-dino chimed in.

"Yes?" The two-and-a-half humans answered in unison.

"_**I CAN HEAR YOU!!!!**_"


	5. Sounds Dirty!

_A/N: There is an interesting story behind this one, but I'm not going to tell it to you. Most of you out there are fellow authors- use your imaginations._

Sounds Dirty!

"I've never done it before. I'm not sure I know how." Sam chuckled, sounding vaguely embarrassed.

Tucker listened around the corner, wide-eyed, as Danny replied incredously, "How can you _not_ know? It's not that difficult, Sam! Look, if you want, I can teach you."

Sam sounded surprised. "You know how?"

"Like I said, it really isn't that hard," Danny replied dryly.

"Alright then," she was defensive now. "Teach me, Oh Smug One."

"Position your hands like _this_, first of all." (Tucker was mentally dancing with glee; they had finally moved past the denial!) "Okay, now hold two in this hand, and one in the other- start with the hand holding the two and toss one up in the air… toss the one in the other hand up and use that hand to catch the first one…"

"You know," Sam interrupted, "This probably sounds _really_ dirty to someone who can't see what's actually going on in here."

There was a moment of silence, and then both burst out laughing. "Sam," Danny gasped, "You are the only person I know who can make something dirty out of 'Danny, please teach me to _juggle_!"

_A/N: The author would like to point out that she has absolutely no idea how to juggle, but would like to learn._


	6. What Just Happened?

Sam dodged behind the kitchen table to avoid her Stepford Wives mother, who was holding up a soft pink dress that was delicately edged with lace and had a simple scarlet sash around the waist.  
"I am NOT wearing that," she growled, ducking away again just in time. "But it's elegant!" her mother protested, holding the dress up and waving it around. "And it's so pretty"  
"It looks like a doiley barfed." Sam replied dryly, looking to Danny and Tucker for help. However, none was forthcoming. "Oh, lighten up, Sam." Danny grinned. "It's not as bad as some of the others she's shown you; at least the waist on this one is the color of blood"  
Sam blinked, looked at the dress uncertainly, and then back at Danny (who was still grinning). Within seconds, both Sam and the dress were gone. Everyone present blinked as they heard the door to Sam's room slam shut, followed by a slightly muffled call of, "Be down in a minute"  
"Um..." Danny started. "What just happened? 


	7. Intervention Part 1

_A/N: This is part one of a request by Jessica01. I hope you don't mind sweetie, but I finally got rid of my writer's block and actually ended up writing a part two, which should be up by Friday. I AM working on TFTF everyone, I promise! Writing epic 'final battle' scenes without killing everyone or making your heroes Mary Sues is a lot harder than I ever realized... _

_Anyway, enjoy._

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**Intervention (Part One)**

"I can't believe they're _doing_ this to me!" Tucker wailed, burying his face in his hands and sobbing pathetically.

"Well," Sam tried to comfort him, "maybe it _is_ best that you spend a little time apart. You have to admit, you do spend an extraordinary amount of time together- maybe a bit _too_ much, even?"

Tucker looked up and stared at her, eyes wide in horror. "You're in on it," he whispered shakily. "You're one of _them_. You want to break me and my baby apart!" Desperately he turned to Danny, eyes vacant and glassy, his chest heaving; he seemed to be having some sort of panic attack. Or a psychotic episode. "But not _you_," he murmured creepily, smiling vaguely now. "Not you, right Danny? We're still friends. You're still on my side, right? Of course you are…" he trailed off, mumbling quietly to himself, still staring at Danny without so much as blinking and still smiling that same unnerving smile. He was, Danny noted with concern, swaying slightly, unsteady on his feet- or was he simply rocking back and forth? Not that that would be any less worrying, of course, he told himself.

"Actually Tuck," he began, shifting uncomfortably. "I kind of agree with Sam and your parents on this one. Maybe some time apart _would _do you some good; you know, give you a chance for some social interaction? With, oh, I don't know, people?" He couldn't look his friend in the eyes, instead choosing to glance nervously away; he had known Tuck more than long enough to anticipate the heartbroken look on his friend's face at Danny's 'betrayal'.

Tucker's eyes got very big. Tucker's face got very pale. For a moment, there was no sound aside from the rustle of Danny's clothes as he shifted uneasily and Tucker's labored breathing. Then, almost inaudibly, Tucker murmured hoarsely, "Et tu, Brut?" before taking off in a dead sprint down the sidewalk, away from his friends. Danny made as though to follow him, but Sam laid her hand on his shoulder, stopping his movement. "Let him go," she sighed sadly, shaking her head. "This has got to be really hard for him; just give him some time." She followed Danny's gaze to the path Tucker had taken with surprising speed- she hadn't known the out of shape boy could _move_ that fast! "Poor guy," Danny sighed. "Who knows what sort of crazy stunts he'll pull when he's suffering from a big shock like this?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed, her worry clear in her voice. "after all, if this is what he's like after three _hours_, God only knows how he's gonna handle having to go three whole _days_ without his PDA."

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	8. Counterproductive Part 2

_A/N: I know, I am a terrible, terrible person. I'm sorry. See my profile for an explanation. _

_This is part 2 of a request by Jessica01 from forever and ever ago. Sorry hun. Hope you see this, hope you like it. Enjoy._

**Counterproductive (Part Two)**

Sam and Danny were getting worried. In the three days since Tucker had run off, neither had seen or heard from him at all. He wasn't answering his phone, home or cell. He wasn't returning their emails, despite still having access to his desktop computer; nor had he logged into Instant Messenger (just to be sure, they had taken alternating six-hour shifts to stay online after the first day had passed and worry set in). It was a long weekend, which meant they probably wouldn't find him at the school, even if either teen had had the desire to go and check. And every time they went by his house, one of Tucker's parents would answer the door and mumble evasively that Tucker "wasn't feeling well," steadfastly refusing to look either teen in the eye.

So yes, they were getting worried. After all, this was totally out of character for their tech-loving friend. Maybe he had been more upset about losing his PDA than they had thought?

When Tuesday rolled around, they were oddly relieved to be going back to school. As usual, Sam went to Danny's house first. As usual, Danny was running late, scarfing down his breakfast while asking around mouthfuls of food to copy her English assignment (his remained unfinished due to several weekend encounters of the ghostly kind). Sam relented, allowing Danny to scribble out the answers he needed for Mr. Lancer's first-period class, returning the papers to her backpack as Danny slipped on his shoes to head to Tucker's house.

Unusually, this thought filled them both with an unpleasant mixture of anticipation, concern, and nerves. These feelings only settled more firmly into their stomachs, making them feel vaguely ill, as Tucker's mother opened the door and told them that the boy had left for school nearly twenty minutes ago. Something wasn't right. Normally, Tucker ran even further behind in the mornings than Danny, and he had left early? For _school_, of all things? Without even waiting for them? Tucker was upset, but no way was he _that_ upset. Not upset enough to just ditch them like this, when they had followed the exact same routine and walked to school together every day since third grade.

Exchanging uneasy glances, Sam and Danny continued on to Casper High. They would find their friend there and clear all of this up before it went too far. After all, the lengths to which he was going simply to avoid them were getting downright ridiculous. It was ridiculous to cause such a fuss over a few giggles and a glorified cell phone!

'_Boys and their toys,_' Same huffed to herself; beside her Danny was silent, a slight frown on his face. As it turned out, however, they didn't need to go searching for their friend; he found them almost as soon as they set foot on school grounds. '_Times like these,_' Sam thought as Tucker waved something small, shiny and rectangular in her face, '_I wonder if he was __**actually**__ joking about those homing devices of his.' _

Snickering slightly, she snapped back to reality in time to see Tucker grinning broadly at her; she resisted the urge to laugh again at the silly expression. Tucker, mistaking her amusement for admiration, clutched the whatever-it-was to his chest and squealed "I _knew_ you'd love it!" in a manner frighteningly reminiscent of a fan girl. The Goth cringed at the sound, but the tech geek didn't even notice; he had already raced off to show the science club his new toy.

Blinking slowly, Sam turned to Danny for an explanation of what exactly just happened. Seeing her confusion, Danny quickly clarified. "His parents said he did so well during his three days without his PDA that they would give him his birthday present early as a reward."

Sam had a bad feeling about this. She cleared her throat carefully and, praying that she was wrong, asked the inevitable question- "What exactly _was_ his birthday present?"

Danny chuckled and smiled widely. "Why, a brand new, state of the art PDA, of course." He was fighting madly to keep a straight face and failing miserably at it. Sam thought that over for a moment. "So," she said incredulously, "basically, they staged an intervention to take away Tucker's technology, and as a reward for not losing his mind like they thought he would, they got him a new, way better PDA that he'll probably spend even _more_ time with, which is why they took the other one away in the first place?"

"Basically, yes." Danny nodded. Sam snorted and shook her head.

"Well, _that's_ counterproductive!"


End file.
